Going back from work. In cab. I was going through a whatsapp message which prompted me to ask question whether i was doing right to my elder kid.
Just thought of putting myself in his shoes. He was a darling and was a dream child for any parent. Lots of love caring, playing around just to say he was very happy. Then Adiv came. Etaash was growing and were his needs. He needed attention someone who can understand his queries. He wanted to cuddle up but he was a bit heavier on the weight side so i had to resist his advances. But i didnt do a good job in explaining this very simple thing to him. Feeling ashamed.
I can feel he is loosing interest in family affairs and wants the same attention as Adiv. I think he has a much bigger heart than me. I feel crying sometimes but the male ego over powers. Living in a highly stressed enviroment has its own downside and the affected are the innocent lives. Our own expectation and the ambition to scale up makes life difficult for the childrens. I dont know if i will be able to explain this to my baby.
Coming back to the morning stuff. Had a bit of argument with Mili over last evening dosa stuff. I just cant put anything in my tummy if i dont want to. But this could have been handled differently. I am pretty flat in expressions and the birthday party at chai-chai made things worse. Neverthless i am enjoying my first post and hopefully it will continue.
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